his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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