Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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