Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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