At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
