; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just blew my weed a kiss
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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