thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
