At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
