...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Randomize
