To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
