He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize