If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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