Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
