I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
