i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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