Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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