ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
