Cold hands, warm shart.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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