Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
