You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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