I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
