Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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