It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I am naked and annoyed.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
