My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize