Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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