do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
