the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
