Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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