okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize