she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
