Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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