this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
