So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
