I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
