he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
