I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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