just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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