I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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