I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
