He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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