How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
