so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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