I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I touched a dick in church today
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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