you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
