Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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