you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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