I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize