I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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