just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
