I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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