im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I miss vodka workout Fridays
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize