you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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