dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
