You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
