He had one of those small greek statue penises
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
