is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
