my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
